Happy third birthday to my little Dixon Andrew-Lee Baxter!
What is Down syndrome?
Simply put, it is a chromosome disorder, which is caused by one extra chromosome. Each person is made up of 46 chromosomes, 23 from each parent. Dixon, and other friends with DS, have 47. The extra chromosome is carried in the 21st pair, which is why the medical name for Down syndrome is Trisomy 21.
How does this extra chromosome happen?
Nobody really knows the answer to this question. Age plays a role (the older the mother, the more likely she is to carry a baby with ds), but my answer is: because it is was supposed to. Plain and simple. My chances of having him were 1/1650, (time to buy a lottery ticket). Dixon does not have Down syndrome because I had a sip of wine during my pregnancy, or drank coffee, or anything like that. He was just meant to. And I was meant to be his mother.
When did we find out about his diagnosis?
When I was 20 weeks pregnant. We went in for our gender reveal ultrasound, and learned that a few measurements were abnormal. From there, we did an amniocentesis, and learned at 23 weeks that our baby would be born with special needs.
How did we react?
Honestly, Adam and I were terrified. Both of us visioned our lives as the parents of two healthy children: a boy and a girl. We wanted a dog, a house, and a white picket fence. There really are no words to describe the thoughts that went through my head. There were many, many times of sheer panic, depression, confusion, guiltiness, anger, and feeling so very alone. I admit to these feelings, because I now accept them as normal. Change is scary, the unknown always takes time to adjust to. This was a big adjustment, and one that I was facing very early in my life. Adam and I knew that our support group was strong; we were surrounded by people who loved us, yet none of them had walked in our shoes at this point. The remainder of the pregnancy was long, scary and quite lonely. My checkups went from once a month to three times a week. Dixon received several heart scans while he was in my stomach, along with nameless other tests. Prayers carried us through this difficult time, and proved more miraculous then we could have imagined.
Did we ever consider terminating the pregnancy?
NO. I can honestly say that we never did. Sadly, we are not the norm on this decision. Dixon is the 8%, meaning that 88%-92% of positive prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome pregnancies are terminated. 92%!!!! This number blows me away, and has changed my life. This is why education is so important.
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| Photo of darling little Grady, courtesy of a www.skiingthroughlife.wordpress.com |
When asked this question, my usual response is "he is just a little bit cuter than average." :)
*Dixon is small- he is three years old, and wears size 12-18 month clothes. He is estimated to be 5'- 5'2 when he is at his maximum height (just like his mommy!)
*He has typical features of other friends with Down syndrome. These include: almond eyes, low set ears, flat feet, large tongue, chubby hands, short neck, and a short and stalky build.
*Dixon is VERY smart. He understands everything, but his speech is a constant struggle. He has several factors that contribute to this: hearing issues, a high palate, and a large tongue. HOWEVER, his current vocabulary consists of about 40 words, and is growing daily. This is incredible for somebody his age with Down syndrome, and something that I am so very proud of.
Does Dixon have health issues?
Yes and no. He could have many more. We are extremely lucky that he has not had anything major. When I was pregnant with him, he had three holes in his heart. 50% of babies with DS require heart surgery. Dixon was a miracle, and all three holes healed themselves within his first year of life.
He has had minor issues: he has a thyroid deficiency, which requires daily mediciation. He has had two sets of ear tubes, tonsils and atnoids removed, surgery for testicals, three hernias removed, pneumonia, constant sinus infections, hearing loss (healed by tubes), and we suspect he will have issues with his teeth. These are all problems that were simple solutions, and we do not foresee any further surgeries needed. HOORAY!
Does Truth know that her brother is different?
Yes. She knows that her brother has something called Down syndrome. When she asks what that is, we tell her that it is something that makes him a little different. But, she learns that everyone is different. "Daddy has brown hair, Truth has blonde hair, Mommy has freckles, some people wear glasses, some people have brown skin, and Dixon has Down syndrome." For now, that answer is good for her. As she gets older, we will alter as needed. We plan to use a similar answer when Dixon asks.
This question doesn't have an answer just yet. Dixon will start a special education preschool in July. We have chosen to do this, because we want him to receive as much special therapy (mainly speech) as possible, in hopes of preparing him to enter a typical classroom for kindergarten.
What is my biggest fear for Dixon?
That he will be teased. This child is full of more LOVE, more SMILES, more LAUGHTER and more JOY than anyone that I have met in my life. He does not have a mean bone in his body. I pray everyday that he does not get teased for what he cannot control.
To wrap this up. My life began the moment that I had this beautiful child. I went from somebody who cared more about my outfit and what others thought of me, to somebody who now understands that NONE OF THAT MATTERS! Dixon doesn't care what you drive, what you wear, where you work, who you're dating, or how much money you have. Dixon cares about HOW YOU TREAT HIM, period. I think that he can be a lesson to all of us, in fact, I PRAY that he can be a lesson to all of us. I thank God daily for bringing him into my life. For opening my eyes to what is truly important, and for constantly reminding me that there are people in this world who could use a smile or maybe a little extra help at times. They are not any different than you or I, and they didn't ask to be born this way.
THEY SIMPLE ARE BECAUSE THEY WERE MEANT TO BE.
THANK YOU for the last three years. I can't wait to watch you grow, and see the lovely man that you will turn into one day. I smile just thinking about it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUBBA!
